F*ck Realism

Barack Obama addressing crowd

Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity.

Will Smith

When I think about the woman I will spend the rest of my life with, I’m not imagining a person who lacks intelligence or has no sense of humour. I don’t want someone who I’m not physically attracted to or has no direction in life. I’m not interested in settling down with the first person who wants me nor do I want someone who thinks this is acceptable.

I will never settle for just anyone – I want to share my life with someone who will enhance it – who brings out the best in me as a person. I have an image of the woman I want in my mind and nothing else will come close.

Is that realistic? Fuck realism

I hate the look of my bank balance – the numbers rise and fall with alarming regularity and I’m one moment of madness away from spending the next week eating tuna sandwiches. This is not acceptable to me. I don’t want to live my life worrying where the next payment will come from – dreading the end of the month when all of my bills rise up and bitch slap me for not having the income I truly want.

It’s time to stop this month to month living. I want the freedom to go on holiday without having to save up. I want to have the heating on in the winter without keeping one eye on the meter. I want to live in an apartment with a balcony overlooking the sea. I want to provide for my future family and give them the life that I didn’t have.

Is that realistic? Fuck realism

I’m an ectomorph – that is my body is naturally skinny with narrow shoulders and the ability to burn body fat a little quicker than others. I hate it. I have spent the last 15 years of my life trying to gain weight, to add muscle to my wiry frame but it’s a difficult slog. I have been so focused on this that I didn’t notice my waist size start to creep up. I became chubby – but it’s ok right? I’m in my thirties now. Testosterone levels drop, muscle mass becomes harder to maintain and body fat percentage starts to rise. It’s inevitable right?

Hell no. I don’t care if age starts to affect my hormone levels. I don’t care if society deems it normal carry around a little extra on the waist. I have an expectation on how I should look – an expectation to remain in good health. If I have to eat a bit more protein to add muscle, so be it. If I have to do a little more cardio, so be it. Once my waist falls below 32 inches, I will promise myself that no matter how old I get, how many injuries I have or what my life situation will be. I will NEVER allow myself to rise above that measurement again.

Is that realistic? Fuck realism

Most of us are raised in a society that promotes the idea that we have to finish college/university and find ourselves a nice safe job that will cover that 25 year mortgage and the invisible shackles that come with it. This doesn’t make sense to me – blindly working towards retirement so we can finally own the house we will spend the final years of our life doing absolutely nothing of note with.

I want to see the world – to experience different cultures – to learn new languages. I was born in the UK but I sure as hell don’t want to die here. Why should I spend every day of my working life entering the same building to see the same old tired faces in exchange for a salary that barely covers those tuna sandwiches? I want to work in a location that I choose – earning the salary that I want – living life on my own terms.

Is that realistic? Fuck realism

Throughout my life I have been told countless times that I can’t do something. ‘You will never be rich’, ‘you will never be truly happy’, ‘that life is for them, not for the likes of us’.

I’ve heard it all. 32 years of put-downs and negativity – mostly from people who are too afraid to live their own lives.

I’m now bulletproof.

You can tell me that I can’t do something but I won’t listen.

You can laugh at my ideas and my plans but I don’t care.

You can even attempt to drag me down to your level, but it won’t work.

I am the only one who is in control of my life. I am the pilot that steers this vessel to where I want it to go. If I choose to do something then nobody else has the right to think otherwise.

I will make countless mistakes along the way but so what? The person who doesn’t make mistakes ends up with nothing.

I might not be sensible – I might not be conventional – I might not be realistic, but you know what?

Fuck realism.

Who’s with me?

About Jamie

Jamie is a guitar teacher and writer who hates the typical 9-5 existence. After quitting his job to enter the world of guitar tuition, he created this blog to document his thoughts and struggles as he takes on societies norms armed with nothing more than his cheeky wit and undeniable charm - Give his Facebook page a like, add him on Twitter or follow his Google+ page and he will repay you with even more awesome words!


  1. Hi Jamie, if we are talking about being realistic, I would say it’s easier to find a woman of your dreams in your 20’s and 30’s, but older you get, you become more set in your ways and no one can measure up any more.
    I say the truth is somewhere in between: don’t be too much of a dreamer and hang out in La-La Land all the time, but at the same time don’t be too much of a realist either. A happy balance in life is a great thing!
    Elena @ Pregnancy Vitamins recently posted..Terrific Summer Blog Giveaway – Enter Now!My Profile

    • Hi Elena – you could also say that we change anyway as we age regardless if we have found ‘the one’ or not. The person we meet in our twenties may not measure up in our thirties. La la land is the place where we stay when we are too scared to go for what we want. Realism is relative and it means different things to different people. A happy balance is being happy, so we should find what works for us, in my opinion. Thanks for dropping by.

  2. It ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward, how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! – Rocky Balboa

    I feel your passion, don’t ever give up and you’re gonna make it man.

    btw. I’m not telling you to settle for the girl of your dream, I just tell you not to close any doors (any chance encounters), give ‘her’ a chance. I met a girl years ago that wasn’t exactly my type, we hook up just for fun, went for a trip, fall in love.. 10y later we’re married, and every single day I’m grateful (and so damn lucky) for that, I couldn’t pick better, every day is a good day for me, all because I didn’t stick to my ideal. In retrospective, my ideal, would have probably sucked after the first year or two.

    • Hey Martin, thanks for your thoughts.

      I’m happy you found the one for you but here’s a thought – have you considered that this girl WAS your ideal type, and that’s why you are happy? Yet you didn’t know this until you had spent enough time in her company for this to become apparent, hence the time spent together on that trip.

      By the way, Rocky speaks the truth! 🙂

  3. Hey Jamie, once again great stuff. At the end of the day it boils down to this. Fear! In my opinion at my age I’ve realized how small we are and that simply nothing at a higher level, doesn’t really matter. I believe at a basic level prior to our abilities to coat and hide things, we have a desire to wish misery on our fellow man. It’s primal, it’s selfish it’s human. So when I hear people scolding others, or finding humor in anothers attempts at dreams, it is more or less fear which is also “I don’t want to see them advance if I can’t”. “Why should his life be better than mine”. Better yet, some may think this way and put on that smile. It’s all B.S! Friends is good, being a maverick or a loner is BAD! Saving is good , spending is bad..what a load of crap. Either way..keep doing what your doing man. Btw if your in skype. hit me up would love to chat with ya. Skype I.D versuasions versuasions

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