Why Do We Always Settle For Second Best?

unhappy couple
This is a shorter article today but it’s about something that I feel strongly about. Basically the idea that many people, most in fact, are going through life just accepting whatever comes their way.

It’s just a case of picking low hanging fruit.

Taking the easy option, remaining in your comfort zone, lowering your standards in the belief that you’re happy when in reality you know you can do so much better.

Read through and try and answer the following questions – If you answer ‘yes’ to any of them then that is a sign that you are allowing your standards to slip.

Relationships

  • Do you end up dating the first person that shows interest in you?
  • Are you willing to put up with a toxic relationship because you’re afraid of being alone?
  • Are you grateful for any sex that comes your way, regardless of who it’s with?
  • Have you ever said ‘yes’ to a marriage proposal for fear of upsetting someone?
  • Do you shy away from asking someone out because you think they are out of your league?

Work

  • Is your job paying you the wage that you feel you deserve or are you constantly struggling financially?
  • Do you dread going into work each day and wish you could do something else instead?
  • Do you ever feel like you wasted your degree by going straight into an unrelated career?
  • Have you ever turned down a great opportunity or promotion because you were worried about leaving your comfort zone?

Social circle

  • Do you feel tied to your old school friends just because you grew up with them?
  • Do you only hang out with certain people because it’s too much effort to find new friends?
  • Are you turning down social invites because it’s easier to say no than to say yes?

Health

  • Do you try to convince yourself that you are happy with your shape when inside you feel the exact opposite?
  • Do you end up working out at home because you lack the confidence to join a gym or a class?
  • Would you rather get a new hairstyle or buy new clothes as a quick fix for a boost in self-esteem?

Lifestyle

  • Have you given up all hope of travelling because you think you are too old?
  • Do you always allow other people to choose your holiday destination?
  • Are you doing what is expected of you rather than what you expect of yourself?

We all need to stop doing this as soon as possible. If something is easy then there is a good chance it is the wrong option but it’s also a very difficult habit to break out of.

The brain doesn’t like change – It will do almost anything to convince you to take the path of least resistance. Our comfort zones are safe places where we can’t get hurt or embarrassed – Where we are good at what we do and the ego can keep its status as an untouchable entity – impervious to failure.

It’s why we start replacing our dreams with more realistic ventures. It’s what stops you from talking to that cute man/woman in the bar in favour of the socially inept, but halfway decent looking person chatting you up instead.

It’s why you leave college or university and immediately grab the first job that you see because you don’t want the stigma of being an unemployed graduate.

Small constant ‘victories’ like this convince our ego that we are being successful when in reality it’s just covering up how cowardly we really are.

So what if we fail? Don’t just reach up and grab the first piece of fruit that you see, climb the tree and see what else is up there.

You might fall and hurt yourself, you might not find anything better after all, but it’s far better to at least make the attempt than to always wonder – ‘what if?’

You might believe that taking a risk is scary, but you know what?

A life of mediocrity… that’s truly terrifying. 

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About Jamie

Jamie is a guitar teacher and writer who hates the typical 9-5 existence. After quitting his job to enter the world of guitar tuition, he created this blog to document his thoughts and struggles as he takes on societies norms armed with nothing more than his cheeky wit and undeniable charm - Give his Facebook page a like, add him on Twitter or follow his Google+ page and he will repay you with even more awesome words!

Comments

  1. Done good on this article.

  2. Aw, this was a very good post. Spending some time and actual effort to generate a superb articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.

  3. This is a great article, you really did yourself a disservice with posting the ‘you deserve the things you get’ one which lacked empathy or insight

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