Yes, juggling chainsaws is pretty darn difficult so stop doing that. It’s not big or clever and you will find it hard to comb your hair with a chunk of metal lodged in your head.
What about more ‘every day’ activities?
I see it every week with my guitar students.
“My hands are too small and I can’t do it!
“I have no rhythm”
“These barre chords are too hard”
Yes it is hard to learn a musical instrument, even harder to learn to play the guitar, but what did you expect? You’re contorting your hands and fingers into positions that would make a gangster rapper weep with envy.
The students who improve the quickest and who end up truly enjoying their practice sessions are always the ones who appreciate that time and effort = rewards.
Easy is worthless
Anything worth doing has to be difficult, otherwise everyone would do it and it wouldn’t be as special.
All you cute ladies out there – It’s boring being hit on at the bar isn’t it? Guy after guy approaches you and they say the same dreary chat up lines, often dribbling and slurring their words due to the amount of courage they have chucked into their liver.
You don’t want them; you want that cool guy who barely pays you any attention. You want someone who is a bit of a challenge, who is interesting and presents you with the opportunity to take part in that little game called “why the hell doesn’t he text me back?!!”
The problem with anything that comes easily is that the rewards are always short lived. Sure it’s flattering and an ego boost when you get chased by an amorous young man but giving in to the situation will leave you feeling empty in the long run.
Easy is an addiction. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, junk food and drunken casual sex overloads your dopamine levels and will make you feel fantastic but the inevitable crash will occur.
Difficulty is longer lasting. It’s rewarding because it requires effort to reach the destination. It takes time and the beauty is in the process as well as the finish line.
What is ‘difficult’?
People tend to associate the word ‘difficult’ with negativity but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Difficult can mean challenging, it can mean rewarding.
Happy and difficult are not mutually exclusive.
A worthy relationship should be difficult because that means that you are working at it every day. It is easy to rest on your laurels and assume that just because you’ve been dating someone for 2 years that everything is sorted. That’s called living in the past, not the present.
Stopping off on your way home from work to buy some flowers and a box of chocolates is difficult, especially if you’ve had a hard day and all you can think about is putting your feet up. Most people leave that to Valentine’s Day or when they have done something dodgy at the Christmas party. Guilt is a great motivator after all.
Couples who have never argued probably don’t really care about each other – they are going through the motions until they find something or someone better.
Difficulty means pushing yourself to become better – refusing to accept that what you have is all you will ever have. Not putting up with situations that make you uncomfortable. Having standards and questioning anything that attempts to drag you down. Not accepting other people’s bad behaviour, even if it means potentially upsetting the dynamic.
People and situations that are worth the risk, will always meet you halfway.
Difficulty is actually easier
What? Jamie stop it, now you’re just confusing me!
Well, have you ever noticed how much better you feel after you have been for a run? Yes sure those 5 miles were hard work and you feel like cutting your own legs off but the endorphin rush is fantastic.
Waking up at an ungodly hour to pound the streets in darkness is darn difficult but it will make the rest of your day so much easier. That elevated mood will increase your motivation, your energy levels and your ability to think clearly.
I eat a lot of junk food. It seems easy at the time to scoff a load of chocolate instead of cooking a nice meal but I pay for it afterwards. I feel lethargic and sluggish. I feel depressed and worthless. Any plans that I had now feel like a chore.
This is why ‘easy’ = difficulty later on. Let me show you why;
- It’s easy to eat a load of junk food but it’s difficult to look attractive with a fat belly
- It’s easy to watch porn but you will find it difficult to maintain your sex drive
- It’s easy to procrastinate but difficult to do everything at the last minute
- It’s easy to say no to social invites but difficult to maintain friendships
- It’s easier to let fear take control but more difficult to become the real you
Do the opposite – instead of asking yourself ‘how can I make this easier’, ask yourself this – ‘how can I do this right?’
If it’s not difficult then you’re simply doing it wrong.
Easy is overrated, it’s just not worth the hassle