6 Reasons Why Being Beautiful Sucks

ugly reflection
I don’t know about you lot but it seems to me that there are more beautiful people roaming the planet than at any time in history. Of course the standards were a lot lower in the past – you were considered a sexual Goddess in the Stone Age by virtue of being less hairy than the other women of your tribe.

The opposite was true with the men. Think Russell Brand with a club.

Suddenly things changed and millions of years of evolution went out the window – somehow the last 10 years allowed all these pretty men and women to come out of the woodwork and dominate our lives.

Every picture has been Photoshopped – boobs are bigger, stomachs are flatter – even Beyonce had her skin tone touched up to make herself more appealing to the masses. It’s not just the professionals either. The self-conscious among us run our photos through some editing software before posting online and God forbid if someone tags us on Facebook without our knowledge.

The men are at it too.

Sales of male grooming products are at an all-time high – chests are shaved, moisturising cream applied and tanning salons become a home from home. Men are carrying more muscle and less body fat these days and the use of androgens is becoming the norm rather than the exception

What’s going on? It’s becoming an arms race for the right to be the most beautiful person in the room.

It’s a constant quest for approval and the need to fit in. It’s game theory in all its devastating glory.

If you don’t do everything you can to make yourself more beautiful then you will get left behind. Nobody will notice you. You will have less sex. Become less popular. Earn less money.  It’s a never ending pursuit of something that cannot be attained.

Women the world over rejoice of the latest pictures of some celebrity staggering out of her home in the early hours without any make up on.

‘She’s human’ they say. ‘She’s just like us after all’.

No shit.

Then 10 seconds later you’ll click another article showing Kate Upton frolicking in a swimsuit and just like that – common sense has been erased from your mind.

‘Oh she’s so perfect; I wish I had a body like that’.

What does she look like first thing in the morning, after a pizza binge the night before without the help of Photoshop and a professional photographer?

She may as well be a 250lb beast – as she certainly won’t look like those modelling shots.

But here’s a radical thought…

What if… being beautiful wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be? What if beauty is bad after all?

What if being average looking is the best way to be?

It doesn’t matter whether you won the genetic lottery or if you spend most of your life trying to convince the world you aren’t a drag queen at a Steve Buscemi lookalike party – the quest to remain beautiful will ultimately end in failure.

You will never be the hero of your own story. If you don’t get killed by the metaphorical dragon, you will certainly start to resemble one.

Then what will you do? Oh damn – if only you worked on your personality a little more, you’d be sorted.

If you remain unconvinced, here are 7 reasons why being beautiful is a very bad thing indeed.

1. You will become obsessed with other beautiful people

Here’s a question ladies – why do you dress up and look pretty for a night out clubbing? Is it to impress the men or to impress the other women?

You certainly don’t put on that sparkly bright red lip gloss for it to be ruined by smearing it all over the face of some random dude. It’s for show. Admit it, I won’t tell anyone.

Guys, have you noticed that most women will be standing there, drink in hand, looking around the room? They aren’t looking for you, sorry to say that.

They are scoping out the competition. Checking to see what the other females are wearing.

Yes of course both men and women are checking out the opposite sex, but with men it’s a far simpler activity.

Look – drink beer – drink some more beer – look again – drink even more beer – chat up.

Women almost forget the ‘meeting guys’ part of the equation because they are too preoccupied with outdoing the other women in the room.

The seedier the club, the less this is true. The classier the club, well – it’s basically an impromptu fashion show/modelling contest.

2. Nobody will care who you are (on the inside)

As human beings we tend to judge other people based on first impressions – it’s a subconscious thing and perfectly natural so don’t worry about it.

Are you a pretty blonde with long legs? I bet you have been asked at some point in your life if you’re a model. Are you blessed in the chest department? I bet you have had many a conversation with a guy who views eye contact as a mere distraction in his quest for just one more downward glance at the goods below.

In these cases you are being viewed objectively as a sexual being before being seen as a person.

Don’t worry, I’m not getting all ‘feminist’ on your ass here – shoot me where I stand if I ever go down that route.

You’re being judged and your personality is being overlooked in favour of your appearance.

Yes beautiful people usually earn more money and may also find it easier to climb the social ladder but at what expense? You’re probably making money in a profession that is based on how you look rather than how you think.

People will also assume that beauty has a direct influence on your IQ – especially those who are at the top end of the scale. You could miss out on an ‘intellectual’ job because your potential employer will favour someone a little more ‘average looking’.

It’s already established that wearing glasses can change people’s perceptions. The same is also true of hair colour, body shape, facial features etc.

Being beautiful will give you a lot of free passes in life but it could just as easily hold you back in other ways.

3. Getting old will ruin your confidence

There is one small problem with basing your identity on your physical appearance – it’s only temporary. Eventually time will catch up with you and you can look forward to being the most attractive person in the old folk’s home.

The days of using your beauty to influence others and to boost your self-esteem will come to a crushing end.

No if’s, but’s or maybe’s – your looks will fade and you will become imprisoned in that empty shell of yours – an impotent being who placed all of their eggs in the same sexy basket.

Your looks have gone and you have nothing left to show the world.

That’s the future for many people who let their beauty run their life.

They trade in their potential for a short term solution –a deal with the devil that now requires payment in full.

This isn’t limited to women, although to be fair, their looks will fade sooner. Men also will have this problem later in life. Testosterone levels will fall and it will become harder to maintain muscle mass. Body fat levels will increase and to add insult to injury, their hairline may start receding.

Congratulations – you’ve become Nicholas Cage.

Some men look great with a shaved head… others, not so much. Which will you be? Are you prepared for the onslaught of grey hair? There will come a time when your ability to attract women in their 20’s will vanish completely and you will have to start looking for those closer to your own age.

But do you have the social skills to attract these women? Do you still have the self-esteem now that you have a bigger belly and a bald patch?

Beautiful people gamble with their future – they simply never think it will arrive.

4. You will become your own biggest critic

You know what else comes free with being a piece of hot stuff? A healthy dose of self-loathing and the ability to never be truly happy with what you’ve got.

The hotter you are the less you’ll appreciate it. Those countless hours spent staring at yourself in the mirror will just create a conflict between the true reflection that stares back at you and the person you want to be.

The brain has a way of focusing on the very thing that you want to see the most.

You might have a pair of eyes that could glamour a Vampire, a set of lips to give Angelina an inferiority complex and bone structure that borders on perfection, yet that little freckle on the end of your nose will stand out so much you may as well have branded yourself with a red hot stamp that screams ‘Fugly’.

The better looking you are the more self-critical you will become.

Dysmorphia is a form of mental illness where you have a warped sense of your own body image. Nothing is how it should be and it doesn’t matter how objectively attractive or normal you are in the eyes of others, you will never measure up to the image you have in your head. It’s why anorexics still see a fat person in their reflection. It’s why bodybuilders always feel small compared to their peers. It’s why people have excessive cosmetic surgery.

It’s always a case of a few more lbs or an extra inch on the biceps or just one more cup size.

You’ll become a dog that is forever chasing its tail. Going round and round without ever getting close to what you want – and all the other dogs will point and laugh and wonder how you became so deluded.

5. Everyone secretly resents you

Beauty will quickly elevate you to the top of whatever social circle you are part of. Think back to your school days and I will guarantee, with the certainty of an awful X Factor winner, that the most popular girls and boys were always the best looking – or at least the ones that were perceived to be the best catch.

That lofty status generally goes to people’s heads. They become crazed with power and before you know it, you’re involved in a real life version of ‘Mean Girls’.

There is an arrogance that comes with being the most beautiful person in the room. Yes you may weep in front of the mirror when no one is around but walking through life, with everyone bowing down at your feet, you feel 10 feet tall.

You probably are in those heels to be fair.

You know what? It’s lonely at the top. Everyone wants what you have, to be in your position. To have complete choice of whom you have sex with and the popularity that goes with it.

You’re the dictator that has to employ a ‘food taster’ in case someone wants to spike your muffin with arsenic.

Am I exaggerating? Maybe – it’s more fun.

Yet people will resent you. You’ll be surrounded by the green tint of envy at every turn. Wondering if your closest friends are genuinely interested in what you have to say or if they are merely using you to gain a higher social standing.

Of course your friends would never do that… would they?

6. Laziness will consume your every moment

I’m not suggesting for a second that beautiful people don’t get stuck in or have an inability to work hard for what they want out of life.

Wait, I am a bit – well some of you anyway.

For the others it’s a case of having quite a lot handed to you on a plate. The better looking you are the easier life becomes. It’s just a rule. It’s natural. Get over it.

As I touched upon earlier – studies have shown that attractive people are hired sooner, receive quicker promotions and earn on average up to 4% more than the rest of us. Most women can achieve this with a bit of make-up and a low cut top but for the men out there, your height, which is linked to attractiveness gives you an easier ride also.

Why work on your personality when members of the opposite sex flock to you every day? Why get a university degree if you’ve been offered a modelling contract as a teenager? Why bother working out when you are already blessed with relatively low body fat levels?

Being beautiful is akin to being famous. You just get stuff handed to you.

We’ve all heard of celebrities who can’t do anything for themselves. They can barely get a glass of water without an anxiety attack.

‘What is this metallic twisting contraption I see before me? Woah, it contains a clear liquid – when did they invent this?’

That will be you if you’re not careful! You’ll become so used to getting stuff for free, depending on your cronies and the easily led, yet one day you may have to do something for yourself – something important and you may not have the confidence to get the job done.

Final thoughts

Remember – you wouldn’t want people to treat you differently because of your skin colour or your sex, and this goes for our level of attractiveness also.

Being beautiful is neither a blessing nor a curse – it is what it is – nothing more, nothing less.

Of course all this is a bit tongue in cheek but regardless if you’re beautiful yourself or you know those that are – you will recognise some of the behaviours and perceptions mentioned here so if you enjoyed this article, please share it with your fellow beauties using the social media icons to the left or let me know what you think in the comments below.

 

About Jamie

Jamie is a guitar teacher and writer who hates the typical 9-5 existence. After quitting his job to enter the world of guitar tuition, he created this blog to document his thoughts and struggles as he takes on societies norms armed with nothing more than his cheeky wit and undeniable charm - Give his Facebook page a like, add him on Twitter or follow his Google+ page and he will repay you with even more awesome words!

Comments

  1. Love this! A bit controversial – no-one wants to hear good-looking people complain about how hard it is to look like they do, just like no-one wants to hear rich people complain about having too much money. But I definitely agree with your points.

    Since I grew up as an ugly duckling, I’ve had plenty of time to develop my personality, skills and talents, and quite often, people that i barely know have told me how great it is that I am both smart/a good person and attractive (although, they really shouldn’t have to say it like it’s some rare thing). It helps that my looks and style are a bit unconventional (think boho/hippie), so I don’t get as much hate as the conventionally pretty blonde with a big rack.

    But oh LAWD I am not looking forward to getting old and losing my looks! Especially since I know what it’s like to feel unattractive. Still, I’m fairly certain that by the time I start getting old and wrinkly, I’ll already have exorcised every hint of vanity from my personality and I will mature into an exceptionally wise and humble old grandma whose beauty shines out from within.

    I hope… otherwise I’m in for a depressing ride!!

    • Hey thanks for your comment! Beauty is so rare yet we are led to believe that it is around every corner due to the high volume of celebrities that are thrust in our faces day in and day out. It causes us to feel inferior when there is nothing wrong with out looks. Yet as I try to point out in the article, everything is relative and in many ways those that do have beauty are more insecure than those of us who don’t have it!

  2. Physical beauty isn’t rare…. overall beauty maybe. It’s sad that you think being feminist is such a bad thing. Women’s rights, equality and fighting oppression are all good things in my mind!

    • Feminism as a whole has been a great movement. It’s just a shame that 10% of feminists give the other 90% a bad name.

      • I also think the ‘feminist’ comment was a bit unnecessary. In order for feminism to be taken seriously, that 10% of people who give us a bad name need to become 1% or fewer. The only way for this to happen is for people (of either sex) to stand up and be counted as true feminists – i.e. people as described in the opening paragraph of the Wikipedia article on feminism:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism

        Otherwise, great article!

  3. I am 14, yet I have frequently observed many things you have written about in this article at my school…
    I wish people would actually get to know me before assuming that “oh you have blond hair so you’re so dumb” even though I’m in honors classes and they seem kind of easy…
    and the other way around too. like “if you’re smart then you have to be weird”…

  4. When I think about beauty or any other trait that comes mostly from factors that we can’t control such as genetics and upbringing, I tell myself to stop thinking about that trait.

    Focusing more on what we can control is better because it prevents us from the headache AND heartache of questioning “Why am I not born that way?” or “Why didn’t my parents told me about that and that when I was a child?”

    Well I’m talking from the perspective of someone who had been told to be ‘ugly’ by society’s standards and I bet that some people who are attractive cherish their beauty and can’t stop thinking about it as it defines them.

    The only thing that we really need to start cherishing is not beauty, intelligence, or any impermanent features – it’s ourself and our existence.

    We are going to die and the only thing that we will bring with us into the soil is ourself.

    That’s it.

    Thanks for the post, Jamie.
    Wan Muhammad Zulfikri recently posted..How To Get More Out Of Life? Four Things You Need To Do KnowMy Profile

    • That is so right, Wan. People who are a couple of inches shorter than average don’t hide away due to their perceived lack of stature. So why should people who are just ordinary in looks shy away from being who they want to be? We can’t control our genetics but we can control our thoughts and our actions!

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