Yes, this is another one of those ‘fear is nothing to be afraid of’ articles, but with a little twist. More like a shimmy than a twist actually. Like Vincent and Mia, but far less cheese.
Usually these articles throw clichés at you such as ‘there is nothing to fear, but fear itself’ or ‘for God sake, stop being a pussy’. You know the type. Anyway, the point being that many of these fear based articles are only helpful to a certain degree. Sure, they deliver a quick kick up the arse but 5 minutes after you have finished reading it you will have probably already forgotten the information contained within.
Not very useful for personal development really is it?
That’s the problem with many of these articles. They are great for the duration of time that you actually spend with them, but as soon as you close your browser to start up another game of Candy Crush, you may as well have never read it to begin with.
It’s like the famous double slit experiment. Observe the words and they will change your life, but look away and life becomes a bit wavy and unpredictable.
What we need to do is somehow learn how to continue with these positive thoughts and allow them to actually change how we think throughout the day.
That change must come from within, not from some idiot on the internet.
To do this you need to be continually challenging yourself to change. Pushing forwards and searching for new ways to smash through your self-imposed barriers.
You need to be asking yourself questions like;
‘How can I change these bad habits?’
‘Why am I allowing my addictions to control who I am?’
‘What can I do today to significantly improve my life situation?’
‘Who can I ask for help?’
‘Am I a good person?’
‘Do I respect myself?’
Only be continually asking ourselves questions such as these can we be sure that we aren’t allowing the fear of the unknown to scare us into inertia. Because that’s exactly what it is – the fear of the unknown.
Scary questions provoke scary answers and many of us are too afraid of what the answer might be.
Articles written about fear usually concern how we interact with the world around us. Things like asking someone out on a date or asking your boss for a pay rise. Scary for sure, but they all revolve around how we deal with external factors.
We need to forget about everyone else for the time being and focus on ourselves.
Look at those questions above and for each one, think of a suitable answer. I’ll wait here while you do this.
You may have found some of them easy to answer but I bet at least 1 or 2 were a little challenging.
When I asked myself these questions I personally found the toughest one to answer was ‘do I respect myself?’
My initial instinct was to reply with ‘of course I respect myself you stupid moron’, but that was my ego responding, not the real me. After wrestling with this question for a few seconds I felt I could override my ego and offer a more truthful response;
‘I respect myself for trying to live a better life but I can’t be sure if I deserve any more than that’.
So what does this mean? Should I be doing more to become the person I see in my mind’s eye or can I rest on my laurels safe in the knowledge that I at least respect myself partially for attempting to change?
I think I know the answer to that question, even if I am reluctant to admit it.
THAT is the point I am trying to make here. The safe option is to carry on blindly, hoping that the path we are on is the correct one but what if it’s not? What happens then?
These questions suck because they are reactive. They are a consequence of fear, not a generator of fear.
We can’t allow fear to prompt us into asking questions. We need to get ahead of fear and scare the shit out of ourselves first.
If we can get into the habit of doing this every day then progress takes care of itself. We don’t have to rely on having to read motivational articles to give us a nudge in the right direction because we are capable of doing it 24/7.
The irony is that I am a personal development blogger writing a personal development article telling you that you shouldn’t rely on the words I write, but my goal is to help you, not to hold you back.
Many people go through life refusing to admit their flaws, not to others, but to themselves. If you can’t admit something to yourself then how can you ever hope to improve? Embrace your flaws, accept them for what they are and acknowledge that you have taken the first major step towards becoming your true self.
You’re in there somewhere – you just need drag that person out kicking and screaming. It’s not going to be easy but it’s far tougher to carry on pretending that everything is ok.
There is one rule that you need to follow;
If the answers aren’t frightening enough then you need to start asking scarier questions.
It’s as simple as that. Embrace the terror.
Take one of those questions from the article and let me know your answer in the comments – how does it make you feel?
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